A CADEM Hangal !

Yes. Today I had my CADEM midsem exam and all of us were raped in a very glorified manner. I of course share some sympathy towards a very good friend of mine who also claims she was raped in her ass like me 

(For Babloo: FRIEND. Not VICTIM :P)

Anyway, as I sat through the terribly long hour with a question paper that seemed to resemble the script of some BDSM porno, I happened to take a glance at our invigilator sir. Okay. Let me make my next sentence as polite as possible. The fucker resembled AK Hangal in almost every way imaginable. 

So my hyper active mind [on par with Mr. Sherlock Holmes] which always loathes stagnation started asking itself the question,"What if Hangal was still alive ?"   

How would his life be ?

These are some snippets of the mental conversation that I had with myself during the exam. Snippets because I couldn’t make everything public as it would get me jailed.

First, some background info. AK Hangal had to come out of retirement at the age of 93 so that he could :

a) pay for his medical bills

b) [this where it gets hilarious] Pay for his son’s medical bills who is also something like 72 or 73 and has diabetes and fuckin’ spinal problems and shit like that.

So read on.

NOTE : I imagined he was still alive so most things are written that way which I didn’t care to change.

Why ? Because I am a Fearless Bastard ! Ok. Sorry :P

· Why don’t Hangal and Hangal Mini both just go for a jog and die?

               A) He can’t jog.

               B) Neither can the son.

· Imagine being the guys in the park and you see a dead body. That’s just your day ruined dude. People actually go to laughing clubs to shout hahaha and shit like that. But a dead Hangal in a park might just actually end up as being funny. Think, A.K. Hangal mara pada hua hai and baju mein log has rahe hain  hahahaha !

· Does AK Hangal have a bank account? – Yes.

· You know what’s in AK Hangal’s bank account? – Sannata

· You know where his bank account is? – Mohenjo Daro

· You know what his bank account has in it? Ata. Ata with circular pathhar which has engravings on it. And if you wipe off the sand from it and look carefully, it reads,” Bhencho ! Tu abhi bhi chud raha hai ?!” 

  In farsi of course. (Farsi-=Some ajeeb chutiya purani bhasha. Like Sanskrit. All same to same)

· What is AK Hangal’s phone number? – A pigeon

· You think the guy who invented the machine gun was asked,” Sir, which is this model?” – AK Hangal ! 

  [Ok sorry. PJ tha. But hey ! It’s a good joke na ?  AK-47 : AK Hangal]

· What if someone would just walk up to him and just say,“Mujhe aapki fighting spirit bohot passand hai”?

  His reply would most certainly be, “Tum mujhe dekh sakte ho?”     

  

· Do you think his family prepares for his funeral on every birthday of his?

· Okay. He has a 73 year old son. So, considering their health probs, they both must be wearing piss bags. And  spending father-son quality time for them is like when two of us own HTC Explorers and can share the chargers. Now have some similar thoughts with their piss bags please.

· You know what’s worse? The grand son is 55 :-/

· Amazing how his name has the word Hang in it :O

· His family will one day accidentally cremate him when he oversleeps.

· What if him and his son both die on the same day ? – Death pooling

· Do you think when Bollywood producers go to Hangal with roles, he charges them a hundred bucks thinking,”is se toh mere agle 5 saal chal jayenge”  because he is still used to 1930?

· He pays a monthly rent of Rs.14/- to his landlord. Oh fuck ! Sorry. The makan malik must be dead by now. Uska malik, sabka malik ek hai bas aab.

· AK Hangal’s best friend is samay from Mahabharat. [Yes ! That fuckin’ cartwheel thingy]

· He apparently started his movie career when he was around 50[ A fact that I know since long] Because before that, nothing such as a job existed. That’s when employment started.  No no ! People discovered eyes and realized that they could watch shit back then. Really !

And this is where it all ends because I developed the guts to walk out of the examination hall by now.`

MORAL : Hangal saab is dead. The world is safe.