A day after posting one of the toughest things I’ve ever written and officially having stalked a girl to the Rose Valley ( :-/ ) and being basically jobless through the rest of the day, I ended up browsing through my Twitter history and after I stumbled upon this little conversation that I had had, I guess life redeemed itself by revealing to me the purpose of my existence. That’s right, Uday Chopra once responded to me on Twitter. Now I know this is not post-worthy as such, but given how annoying a celebrity (and I use the term loosely) on Twitter seems to be the minimum qualification for having truly arrived in the world of social media, I felt it needed to be publicized and recorded for posterity.
Now those of you who are on Twitter might have followed the exchange, and the fact that Uday Chopra is on my “special” list titled G****uon Ka Guldasta alongwith other big “stars” like Jugal Hansraj, Mallika Sherawat, Rehman Malik etc. Needless to say, after this exchange, I will have to put him on an even higher pedestal than I currently do. So here’s what happened:
@udaychopra Not really into football but I've decided to pretend I am...waka waka
@RohanBakshi Not really an actor, but pretends to be RT @udaychopra Not really into football but I've decided to pretend I am...waka waka
@udaychopra @RohanBakshi ha ha...good one but I'm only pretending to be an actor, kudos to you, pretending to be a human being ;-)
@RohanBakshi Too easy RT @udaychopra @RohanBakshi ha ha...good one but I'm only pretending to be an actor, kudos to you, pretending to be a human being ;-)
@RohanBakshi Did you know @udaychopra has a "Re-Launch" button on his Twitter page instead of Re-Tweet? Ok sorry - that was the last one. I'll stop :P
@udaychopra @RohanBakshi I concede...u win!!! And I promise no more re-launches...I think everyones had enough, including me ;-)
@RohanBakshi Respect RT @udaychopra @RohanBakshi I concede...u win!!! And I promise no more re-launches...I think everyones had enough, including me ;-)
Now I have to admit, Uday Chopra turned out to be a pretty good sport. Not funny and as stupid as we all thought he was, but a sport nonetheless. On the other hand if you think about it, what choice did he really have except exercising the “give the haters love because they need it” card? Can’t be cocky after blowing all your daddy’s money after the train wreck that is his career (equivalent to atleast a 100 students enrolling in IIPM) Can’t engage in verbal banter for fear of pissing off the pseudo-intellectual crowd (the likes of me) and having a comic/hashtag made out of him. Can’t even sound petty or angry for fear of dropping the always happy persona that every (gulp) celebrity has to endure so as to seem invincible to his fans. I can’t even begin to imagine how shitty it must be for chaps like him. (Though Uday Chopra having 50,000 fans on Twitter says more about how fucking stupid we all are than about him and the quality of his tweets) Not surprising then that the more popular a person seems to be, the more “I love you all, I don’t care about the haters” tweets you see on their timeline.
Which is when I saw this on Twitter again:
@udaychopra Another fine specimen! RT @nainasethi13: @udaychopra you know nothing about football, so please-shut the fuck up.
@udaychopra I don't hate the haters...give love to those who love you and more to those who don't...that's the way I look at it...
Which brings me to my minor quibble of the day – Bollywood celebz using the word “haters”. Personally, everytime I hear this word coming out of the mouth of a Bollywoodite i.e. every Friday, I feel like doing a Rang De Basanti on them. Week after week some director comes out with a trashy movie that gets panned by the audience and critics (Yes I know some of them are biased but not all of them) and the first word that comes out of the actors mouth is “Oh they’re just haters, ignore them. They need our love. If they don’t like it so much, they should try and write a screenplay or make the movie on their own”. Karan Johar in particular seems to say it more often than the number of wide angle shots of an American city he takes at the start and the number of songs containing the word “Maula” in his every movie.
First of all, that is a fucked up argument. It’s like a doctor who botches someone’s treatment and says “Oh, if you didn’t like how I treated you, why don’t you diagnose yourself through the internet and medicate yourself”? We pay to watch the damn movie (Ok, not all the time, most of the time we get free passes) so we have every right to pass judgement. Just because you worked hard at something and was your labour of love doesn’t mean it wasn’t shitty. For fuck’s sake, I’m writing this piece right now and I know this is hardly blog worthy so I know it won’t get comments but I’m writing it anyway. I won’t start calling everyone who hates/makes fun of it/disses/tells me why am I bothered with writing on such inane such a hater. I’ll just call that person someone who has good taste. And thus, so do we. We’re not haters. We don’t hate just for the heck of hating. We hate because we want the damn movie to be nice – not that plotless illogical piece of drivel disguised in the form of mass-market entertainer which you call art. It’s not. It’s shit. Admit it. If you get to reap all the benefits that stardom and other such things have to offer, learn to take the flak or shut the fuck up.
And that brings me back to Uday Chopra. I really hope he was serious about not trying anymore or getting re-launched over and over again. That said, I will urge you all to follow him – to a wannabe comedian, he is a gift that keeps giving. Not only are his tweets free, you don’t need to endure Tanisha’s tits in the process. He would do well however, to not call us haters.
P.S : I have changed my handle to @TheBigBuddha_ of late. I can be followed there.
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